Life is not always good. I am sure that news is positively shocking to you, as you are checking out a website geared toward positive thinking and tips for optimism. My mother and I had a fantastic conversation today – the kind we haven’t had in years. I asked her to call me for something very serious (i.e. ‘not good’) regarding a family friend. One conversation lead to another, and we discussed my past-relationship and feelings.
It was so therapeutic to discuss these issues with her. She was always my confidant growing up – the person I confessed everything to. Her opinion always mattered most. We talked for a long time about high school sweethearts, first loves, and moving on. Despite the fact that nothing is ‘ever the same’ as your first love, sometimes it pays to get on with things and put things into perspective.
I know, for me, my first love will always be the person I measure all my expectations against. Even if that is not ‘fair,’ I’ve definitely lucked out. I now have a fiance that is 100% open, honest, and will discuss all my thoughts and feelings without any sort of defensiveness. I had to realize that I chose to move on for a reason.
We must be true to ourselves.
Talking with others in our lives can definitely be a good thing. Even acquaintances met on the internet can be a great help – as my sister has told me time and again. A long time ago, I worked for a company called HealthyPlace.com. Valerie once wrote a paper that discussed suicide. I found this paper incredibly helpful and informative and included it on a site I built for my company at the time. Many people over the years (I think it has been 8 long years now!) have emailed her with questions or just to tell her how helpful it has been.
The most amazing thing about this is that she wrote this paper as a way to help herself, never realizing the positive impact it would have on others out there. The point? You never know how you can help someone else unless you try – unless you have those doors opened to you. All you have to do is reach out… I encourage anyone out there to email or comment with questions or your own personal advice. We are all ears! :)
4 responses so far ↓
1 Val! // May 28, 2008 at 12:06 am
Wow this is a heavy one but amazing and just very good. I am glad to hear you and Mom had such a good bonding conversation and also as always glad to read you are feeling good.
Regarding my suicide paper – I can’t express how glad I am that you put it up on Healthy place because it has allowed me to help a lot of people – and I feel very lucky to have that chance – so thank you again for that :)
I love you.
-Val!
2 Janice // May 28, 2008 at 1:01 am
It was a great conversation wasn’t it. First loves are so special and they deserve to be remembered that way. They are part of what make us who we are and enable us to, if necessary, go on to more ‘grown up’ relationships with, perhaps, a greater knowledge on how to love. Every lesson counts. So, sometimes we just have to forgive whatever it was that ended that romance so that we can keep them tucked away close to our hearts where I think they belong. Along with memories of the first dance, first kiss and all the other sweet and bittersweet moments that help us grow into loving people.
We all have baggage and if you can put happy travel stickers on it, so much the better.
3 Vanessa // May 28, 2008 at 10:58 am
Thanks Val! and Mom for your awesome comments. :) I love you guys. I am so lucky to have such amazing people in my life. =)
-Nessy
4 Life, Love, Suicide | Adventured.net // Aug 11, 2008 at 9:40 pm
[...] Sorry to send you elsewhere. I considered writing something truly heartfelt here earlier, but I went to dinner and discussed it with Justin instead. You can get the jest of it here: Heart-to-Heart Conversations: Past Loves and Helping Others Cope with Suicide. [...]
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